Random Dad Jokes
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance? Lady Ba Ba.
I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
Why should you never take sides in an argument at the dinner table? Trick question. It's the perfect time to take sides because no one's paying attention. Bring Tupperware.
Where do rainbows go when they've been bad? To prism, so they have time to reflect on what they've done.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines. But catscan.
What do mermaids use to wash their fins? Tide.
I went to a silent auction. I won a dog whistle and two mimes.
How is my wallet like an onion? Every time I open it, I cry.
Which vegetable has the best kung fu? Broc-lee.
Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can't jump.
I was going to try an all almond diet, but that's just nuts.
[Jokes from: Country Living]
Jacob Teitelbaum, M.D. is one of the world's leading integrative medical authorities on fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. He is the lead author of eight research studies on their effective treatments, and has published numerous health & wellness books, including the bestseller on fibromyalgia From Fatigued to Fantastic! and The Fatigue and Fibromyalgia Solution. His newest book (June 10, 2024) is You Can Heal From Long COVID. Dr. Teitelbaum is one of the most frequently quoted fibromyalgia experts in the world and appears often as a guest on news and talk shows nationwide including Good Morning America, The Dr. Oz Show, Oprah & Friends, CNN, and Fox News Health.
